Jan. 25, 2021

Episode #2 - Shipwrecked Heart, Released

"You understand how threadbare life can be if you don't step out of your own pain and allow someone to hold out a hand to you and rescue you. You, however, did that for yourself. I want you to have my heart as I have your heart..."

Your missing pieces can appear in the most unexpected forms and often when you're not even looking. However, you do need to make the invitation for change, for help and for support to approach you. Then you have the choice whether to grab the gifts that are being offered out to you, or turn away.

In this episode, Hannah shares a profound and beautiful series of healings events which happened to her during the past week. Listen to her story of a purple heart, two stuck souls, Christian, her spirit dog (Duffy), a client/healer (Ursula) and an activation that has released an echo of love which will be heard by everyone who needs to hear that pure love, compassion and holy listening really can banish pain, fear and shame whatever the physical circumstances.

Illustration: A Heart For You - F.A.S (Hannah's 9yr old daughter)
Theme Tune: Great White Shark - performed and written by Laura Gardner


Good evening, or Good morning. Welcome. Do come in, as last time in Episode One, I invite you all round the fire. So I've got the fire burning again, please do come in.

Last week we were talking about renewal - time of renewal. And this week, today, is the start of a cleansing period for me during the year, and it carries on for a month. So I knew this cleansing period was coming up. And I've had an extraordinary week, which I want to share with you today.

And I should have known that something quite epic was going to happen, because I knew once I'd started off this podcast and the radio show, certainly with Episode One, having got that out of the way I really got the shakes when I'd finished and I thought 'oh no, I've like really unleashed something'. So I just want to talk you through my week.

Christian (and Olivia's going to put his photo on screen) wanted to lead this show and I don't know if he's going to come through me and talk, but you will hear his influence through the show. I've already pre-recorded something which happened this week. His influence is definitely in there. But there's a few things I need to explain before we start.

So, at the beginning of the week... I work with a lady called Natasha Harris, who will come on the show later in the season. And we were doing this activation - energy activation - this week, because it's the right time to be doing that kind of thing. And I got this word 'storyteller' that kept coming through to me. And I was thinking, 'Okay, well, I always thought Christian was the storyteller, because he told me his story'. And so I was thinking that was a bit strange. And then also I got this information about Christian taking the lead and he wants to kind of tell a story. And then I was hearing that I had to actually rest and take a seat and stop carrying everybody. And I didn't really understand that. I mean, we're in the middle of lockdown. We have kids at home, it's quite hectic at home, but I didn't really completely understand that.

But the thing with the cleansing time, is that it's a time for clearing out all the gunk. And I know we asked at the beginning of Episode One: What are you missing? There might be some very obvious things that you want to find and you know that are missing, but often, you're not really sure. And it could be just a little feeling of being lost slightly. But anyway, this clarity for me, I thought I was pretty, you know, okay, and that's why I was starting this podcast. But I found out with a little bit more clearing that there were a couple of things that still needed to be to be released, which you'll find out as we go along.

The other thing I need to just tell you about is okay, I need to tell you how Christian died. And I need to tell you what he and I have done over the time. Now, when I say Christian was a storyteller, we did trance mediumship sessions, we did them live on Facebook, so they're there to view. They're on our YouTube channel, 'The Finder of Lost Things'. And during those sessions, Christian was able to tell me everything that has happened to him. And I'm going to give you a very quick rundown. And I actually sat down and downloaded this story on Tuesday after the last programme. And I was thinking, well, this is Christian story. So I'll just tell you quickly the story: so, Christian - it actually came through as - he was tired of life. He was like bound up, he kind of got himself into a rut, I guess which a lot of us do in our life. And he wasn't really sure what he was doing; he knew he was supposed to be doing something but he couldn't quite get hold of what it was. So there was this kind of grief in him that, you know, he wasn't really doing what he was supposed to be doing. And Christian and I we were very parallel actually in our lives. I was also not sure about what I was doing. And I'd actually moved to Cornwall, which is very relevant as the time goes on in this episode. So I'd moved to Cornwall and Christian had come back from being in the Caribbean for a long time. And he'd come back and he was now kind of not totally sure what was going on, projects weren't quite going forward as he wanted to. He was looking for something else. But we were never really aware of that. He actually called it like a pain behind the mask. I think a lot of people have a sort of mask we show to the world, but actually, underneath, not everything is okay. And Christian latched on to this Mungo Park, who I want to talk about more of another time. He was a late 18th century explorer. And Christian kind of just... it was almost like a destiny moment, when he started to read about Mungo, he was like, 'Oh, my God, this boy is the same age as me, we're so similar', blah, blah, blah. And he knew it was going to be an impossible task, almost, this trip to Africa that he did, he was really reaching for the impossible. He had his goals. And he was totally sold on it. And it was something that he was really drawn to; he was really yearning for. And it was like, Mungo came into view - his prayers were answered. And it was a destiny moment. It really was. And I'm sure for everybody listening, you can think of moments in your life where that was destiny, you know, you were either gonna go this pathway or this pathway, and it just sort of fell into place. And for Christian, it really did fall into place. And African was calling, he tells me, and the red Earth and this sort of tribal power that Africa had had over Mungo and it was kind of like attracting Christian as well. And it was going to be a trip where he could really spread his wings. It would be an opportunity of a lifetime; he kept saying about it being an opportunity of a lifetime; that he was really going to make his name, he was really going to make his mark. He had the film cameras and had a book deal that he was going to write about his story. But after several months, it started to go wrong for him. And I'm not going to repeat the story because it's all in the films, but essentially, Christian ended up - he drowned, and he was unconscious. He was drowned by somebody, by a ringleader and others. And part of the story with Christian and I is that I was able to
bring him home from Africa. It's called psychopomp. It's like taking the soul into the light from the darkness. So it's like, as Christian was saying, it's like a cleansing of a life and you move them from darkness into the light. So I have to just be very clear on that to start with. And what's the other thing that I have to be very clear on?

He's just saying that that's all okay.

So on Tuesday morning, I sat down and started to download this story, which I've just told you, which was Christian story. And then a few days later, I had my penultimate session with a client called Ursula and she has been coming to see me [via Zoom calls] for a couple of months. And she was healing the - I don't want to say 'loss' because he's not lost, as she knows so well - but the loss of her father from the physical and this happened 18 years ago. So it's been a really, really deeply held grief that she's been unable to shake or actually move through at all. But Ursula is an amazing soul healer and it was just with her father that she was unable to even begin to heal. And like myself, where I work with somebody else - as healers and in any profession it's always good to have a colleague that you can work with and bounce ideas off, if you get stuck, you can always talk. So anyway, on Wednesday morning, I had a session with Ursula. And it was very obvious that something was brewing. And I even that morning had pulled a tarot card for the session, which was the two of wands, which is all about partnerships and collaboration and moving in the way of passions. And it became so obvious that there was something brewing that even I didn't know was coming up. And I was like, it's something to do with your work, Ursula. And it's moving away from what you normally do to something else. During our session Ursual said she though she needed to do some soul healing. And I was like, okay, and we kind of both closed our eyes and the sessions, I always record so you're going to hear part of our session.

I have to tell you something that happened before the part you hear. Ursual started to move towards the ocean. So she was just in meditation, doing a soul healing, and she was talking about a shipwreck that she needed to go and visit with her father. He was taking her there, to the shipwreck. And... I don't want to go into too much detail, but there was a young boy there
- like a cabin boy, I suppose; he was an orphan. And the main thrust of the story was that he had drowned. But he was on board this ship - we thought it was sort of in tropical waters. But in my head, because I was sort of viewing it at the same time, I also had in my head that it was a sort of Cornish seascape. So it was all very confusing. But this little boy's story was Christian's story - metaphorically. So there was this orphan boy. And he had been drowned. He was stuck in the physical as an energy. His story was that he had gone on board this ship as a means to escape his life. He thought this life was going to be one of adventure and riches, I guess, in the end. He put his trust into people, with this real energy of optimism for the future. Unfortunately, he put his trust into the wrong people. And he was used, rather than receiving what he was promised or what he expected. So, I was just listening to this going, Wow, this is Christian. This is the story I downloaded the day before. This is Christian. And then Ursula carried on and the whole session turned to me.

So I'm just going to ask Olivia if she could play this extract. It's about 16 minutes long. This is a recording of our session. So this is last Wednesday with Ursula and if you hear snoring in the background, it's Ursula's bulldog called Isabella. You'll hear some kind of snuffling along, but I just would really like you to listen to this and kind of take it in. It will show you what I had been missing. It kind of gives the clarity, and Ursula and her father were the ones to do this for me. You'll all get something from this. Just listen to the story and see what strikes you. I will join you
when it's finished. Okay, thanks very much, Olivia.

Ursula Dekker speaking: So, Hannah, they show me you now.
So we are doing our thing.
So this one is from the same place though. So this one woman whose soul is entrapped. I'm just asking why she hasn't been released from this already from what we've just done, and they say, that you need to unlock her Hannah, by yourself.
And she's saying to me that she has always been damned and doomed; this was her penance and the righteous way for her to die. And she has not been able to forgive herself and allow herself to be healed as a result of that.
So they saying, Hannah, that this needs to be healed now, because the subject of grief will eventually in your life be like paintings on the wall where you can understand the beauty and the profanity of the art form, rather than having to paint and get your hands dirty. It will be something that will decorate your landscape rather than you having to plow the land. That's the metaphor, they're saying.

So this woman was a prostitute; she was on the ship and as a working woman in that capacity. She felt like she had control over men, and yet they had control over her. And she had the disbelief that if she can sink to do this way of life, to her selling herself that somehow made it easier. Yet she never had a choice in the matter from the caste in life where she was born into. She was self mutilate it. So she made herself as physically unattractive as possible to men. And their disgust at her only fuelled her belief that that was how it was meant to be. So that was her way of gaining power; so men were disgusted at her yet they longed for her because she was so fierce; there's something about her ferocity as a lover and her being revolting. And all of these were just so self destructive; none of these came from who she truly was as a person within her soul. They were just the musings of a woman in absolute despair and desperation. They want you to just go in there with her. So I'm releasing the, the sort of latch door that she's underneath. And for you to go in there, because she's got a part of your soul in her heart. And you need to have a conversation with her. 
Okay. She's got a lot of fear.

Hannah speaking:
Yeah, okay. It's funny because I'm hearing my daughter. She's because I'm in the basement and I can hear my daughter walking around on top of me. So it does actually feel like I'm in the bottom of a ship. You know, there's people walking above me. Okay, I'll see if I can find her. I can feel like there's a heaviness right in front of me. Okay, does she have a name?

It's like Margaret or Maria.
Something within an 'M'.

Hannah: Margaret means something to me.

Ursual speaking:
So she's saying that I fear freedom. The only thing I longed for, but I fear it. And she says, you understand that; you understand that more than anyone. 

Hannah speaking: Probably more so now actually when I'm actually being handed that way of being free, totally. So what do I need to know? How can we help each other, I guess is the question, isn't it?

Ursula speaking:
I'm asking her: she's saying, 'Help me. Shame. She says it's shame. She feels shame. And, she feels that what she has done is undeserving of love. So I'm just seeing you're holding her hand sitting next to her. You're not even saying anything. You're just sitting with her and she's having her head bowed and she's crying. 

Hannah speaking: Yes, that's what I feel 

Ursula speaking:
This is not a woman who's cried, crying was... not even for sissies... crying was for people who had the luxury of crying. She never felt any of that, she didn't even give herself the break to even feel. She numbed herself so significantly to life and to pain.
She's now for the first time just having the most basic human feeling. And I'm gonna just get Mother Mary come in - I just love her energy, she's got such beautiful energy. Mother Mary says to me, she's the fallen soul, who has very, very beautiful soul energy and a very immense capacity for love which was distorted and just broken by how her life turned out and how she had no choice in the matter. And how she was kept in the dark about any aspect of her life and the choices were made for her. So Mother Mary, she's coming in. She's almost undressing her. She's saying she wants to bathe her energetically: heal her body as well as her soul because her body has been the canvas of her pain. She's taking off her dirty clothing and balming her cuts and her bruises and her teeth, and her hair, and you were just sitting with her. And you met her and she's allowing you to see her. She's never been looked at by another women; she's ever been cared for by a woman.

Hannah speaking: Can I just tell you what I'm feeling. I'm literally feel like I'm kneeling down with her and I'm holding her hands and we've got our foreheads together. And I'm just witnessing. Yeah, there's no words. Just being there with her.

Ursual speaking:
Be there with her. So she's unfolding herself, becoming younger and younger and younger. It's like she's shedding the years; she's shedding the abortions, the babies, the sex, the homelessness or helplessness. And the years; she's shedding the timeline of her trauma until she's just a very, very young baby. And her soul is now ready to release from that place. I see within her heart that purple metatron color; beautiful metratron in her heart and she's saying that this was when I was my truest self. I've held on to this. This is all I had in my life; this light in my life. This part of my soul. I want you to have it Hannah, because you are deserving. You understand how threadbare life can be if you don't step out of your own pain and allow someone to hold out a hand to you and rescue you. She says, you, however, did that for yourself. I want you to have my heart as I have your heart, and your heart kept me safe all this time. They have to be together. 
So it's not your soul part; it's something separate. She wants you to have that from her. So she might have been a stuck soul then, that has been around you. But there's a togetherness here; it's almost like a sisterhood rather than she's actually from yourself. So she's taking it and placing it within your heart space. And Mother Mary is asking you if she can go and take ths baby to the light and for you to have this soul part within you. 

Hannah speaking:
Ah, thank you. Yeah. 

Ursula speaking:
And she's blessing her and bathing her in light, and love and acceptance and self love and health and beauty and all the wonderful things that she didn't experience, yet felt when she was just born in the world. So she can go into the light. She's just looking over her shoulder and just giggling and gurgling like babies do. And you are taking that light out of that dark place; you are looking around it for the very last time. Because neither of your souls will ever go there again. Take yourself as far away from that place as you possibly can. I'll just seemed light there and take yourself away. 
You are sitting in front of a grave. Your brother's grave... He's saying 'See, I told you I'd bring wonders to your life. I have been waiting for you to be ready. You have something so beautiful and pure, that is just yours to have and behold. The meadow that you have made for me is a place where I lie on my back in the sunshine. And I dream and in dreaming, you are keeping me alive. And in creating a space for me, you're keeping me in the world. And it's more than any memory or memorial could ever have done for me. You are profound. I continue to live side by side with you, holding your hands running across the field as we did when we were young. Separate but together; always together. I have a measurable respect for the woman you are and for the voice that you have given us both. My pertinent sister (interesting word choice). My proactive, present sister. My baby sis. He's just standing by you. He's looking at your heart space, like really adoringly. You know when someone looks at you that really knows you, that truly sees you; that you trust too to know you and see you
He says you don't have to put things by his grave. He says to me you do this energetically; you go and almost adorn a space for him. Put flowers down or energy down or like a shrine in a way. Ah, Duffy has just come in. He's just saying that they are doing this for you now. They'll come to this place in your heart space. It's like a sacred cove that's been lit by this purple light: a tiny, beautiful adorned cove. And Duffy will come and leave a ball. Christian he's got a necklace. It looks like it's leather around the neck and then it's got a silver shape. I don't know if it's like dragon fire; it's got some other emblem. He's leaving that for you there. He's saying that the fire within you is fierce. So they are coming to bring things to you. They come in to adorn your shrine, because you are that person in their life. 
And he's saying, 'hold on to everything'. He says that you have been feeling responsible to keep his memory alive, to keep everything about him alive, to not forget anything ever. That you might lose something or something of his would stop being just because you've forgotten a moment or a sentence. And he says it's all contained within the two of us. He says he shares carrying it with you. He carries all of your things and you carry his, and between the two of you nothing will ever be lost. Nothing is lost. 'We echo' and I get the sentence 'We echo into eternity together'. Duffy's just barking and wagging her tail.... I'm just gonna leave you in your space. I just want to get back with my dad for a second, in the boat.
So he's bringing me home. So Hannah, let Christian bring you home. Back to here and back to now. In your heart space. On his motorbike now, he is going to go away now he just says I love you, over his shoulder. I love you, in such a nonchalant way. I'll see you in two minutes time. Like he's just going down the road to get some milk and he'll be back in a minute.
My father's doing the same to me. I'm just asking Archangel Raphael to beam some green light into all of our hearts. You and me and Duffy and Christian and my father.
And the beautiful Margaret that we released from the ship. Just feeling the healing from a heart space. Where feeling holds no fear. Where the heart is at the center.

Hannah: Oh my goodness. Thank you.

Back to Hannah recording live: You're back with me, listening to The Finder of Lost Things with me, Hannah Velten. 

I've listened to that quite a few times over the last few days, just trying to let that kind of settle in. There was so much that Ursula was bringing forwards, which I would like to pad out a bit now for the rest of the episode because there's lots of things that kind of need to be explained. It was almost like this healing pulled the last few strings together for me. I know, at the end of the last episode, we said that our story is not complete because we're still waiting for Christian's camera cards to come back to us, but aside from that, there's a few things I just like to tell you about. 

So first of all, the idea of the stuck souls. So, Christian was an Earthbound soul. As I said before, he also drowned, which is why we were at the shipwreck, and he was unconscious when he died; his body knew he drowned but his consciousness didn't. We weren't aware of that for a long time. But, again, that's all in our story. But this being stuck and not being able to move to the light has followed me for years and years and years. So Margaret, I believe has been with me for years. In 2017 my husband and I went to Bristol and during our trip we went on the SS Great Britain, which was a steamship and it was initially bought into service to travel from Liverpool to New York. And then in time it started to go from the UK to Australia and take immigrants into Australia. Now when I went on this ship, it's dry docked. It had been salvaged. And it was in dry dock. I literally could not walk in a straight line. I was waving all over the place. It was literally like I was on the sea and my husband, was like 'what are you doing?' and I really could not walk properly. And you go down into the different levels, right down into the bowels of the ship where they kept the cargo and the livestock and above that you have the kitchens and quarters. And the whole way through, yeah, I just was moving all over the place. And I couldn't understand it. And I actually came off the ship and I said to the lady at the entrance to the ship, I said, do many people experience this? This strange rocking? And she went, No. Anyway, thinking about it now, I do believe that would have been Margaret. And I suspect she kind of joined me then. When you do what I do, you do get souls attracted to you. I've had this so much in the last three or four years. And I've had a lot of souls who have died in drowning. Obviously, I have a resonance with that, with Christian obviously. I actually looked back and found I'd already done a release from souls that I was holding on to, or had attracted to me, back in 2019, and actually removed loads of children that Christian had sent to keep me company. I was like, thanks Christian, but I think we need to release them now, thank you. And one of the children, she wouldn't leave and she wanted to stay with me. And she'd also drowned and lost her brother at the same time. But we were able to explain to her what was going on and actually move her into the light. So I have history with this. 

The other thing that I really need to explain is when I was saying I was downloading Christian's story on Tuesday, the day before the amazing healing, I was sort of telling Christian's story and then I got stuck on the thought that why didn't Christian and I spend more time together when he was still alive? I went to Cornwall, he was always off travelling; we literally missed each other for years. We'd go to uni, you know, then we go travelling, we'd move house. It was ridiculous. And actually, one of the last times I saw Christian (in fact, it could have been the last time we spent time together) Dad actually said, you know, you two should really spend more time together because you just don't see each other. Yeah, so we'd never really had an honest conversation for years. We sent emails and letters weekly, but I didn't really know what was behind Christian's mask. I don't think many people did. He was not good at letting people in. And I had that thought while I was writing; I had that shame. And I actually started to shake as I was writing notes about why on earth didn't we talk to each other more? Why didn't we tell each other the truth, because I was lost at the time as well? You know that self-blame is like the heaviest cross to bear; it really is. It's like punishing yourself and, yeah, as I said, I started to shake as I was writing it and I thought right I'm gonna stop now because it's too upsetting. And I knew it wasn't true. I knew I shouldn't have that shame because of everything I'd done with Christian and to tell his story and we really cleared all that gunk between us - you know, I knew everything about him and knew everything that was behind the mask; I knew the true Christian. So when I started to shake, I knew that something big was kind of coming and this is obviously what has come up. 

Being able to sit with Margaret was like similar to what I've done with Christian. I've been a ghost writer of memoirs for a long time as well and when you truly sit with someone and you truly hear their story they feel seen and they feel relieved. A lot of the ghostwriting I did for people, they just wanted to tell me like their deepest, darkest secrets and a lot of the time it was 'You can't put that in the book, but I just need to tell you this. I want to tell you this.' And you know, in this time of COVID, it's getting harder and harder to do the face to face talks with people and the real unburdening that I think, probably we're all calling out to do. Obviously Margaret was ready and just listening to people and truly being seen is so massive. And so many souls and spirits stay very attached to Earth, because they have things they want to say, they want to explain things. The big thing with Christian was that he wanted to explain himself and he wanted to (what did you want to say?)... unburden himself. He wanted to tell the story, he wanted the mystery to be solved. So that we could all be free of grief. 

And the other thing with Margaret is that she feared her freedom. And she had the shame, as well. And it is; it's like 'Can I really be free?' This is me speaking. Like, can I really be free of this? And can I really be free of a feeling like I need to help everybody and help all the spirits that come to me? You know, I do feel now like Margaret was the last one that will sit in me; I do feel I have this pure heart now. It's not my responsibility anymore, you know. In the first episode, we talked about us in our human lives, but this is really from the other side of the coin - from Christian side, from the souls and the spirits. You know we will all become souls and spirits. We will. And Christian's just saying like, 'Argh! Don't end this life being burdened, you know, let out your heart. Have a pure heart'. And if that means having somebody sit and listen to what you want to say, like, say it. Be honest with people, show people your true self. Christian was always scared about showing me, and people around him, his true self. He's saying that the unburdening, it gives you freedom. It really does. And I think probably, for me, to have freedom from this, I can just feel myself like the wings unfurling. Because there's been a lot of responsibility I felt - you get souls and spirits that come in, and I can't often pass on messages, I can't often help them because the people they want to connect with and talk to and explain themselves to, they're not open to it, or they don't want to hear the truth or they don't want to face it. And I'm, like, I'm being released from that responsibility. There's so many around me now. It's like, they can stay around me, but they can't come into me. Like, this is my sacred space. And this is where I get my gifts from Christian. And Duffy is our family dog that I talked about in the first episode. We had to put her to sleep on Christmas Day, but you know, this is my space now in my heart for Christian, Duffy and all my ancestors. And this is not the place for any stuck souls. They can stay on the outside and if they want to draw in their people to me, to this podcast, by all means please do but I've been released, which is amazing. 

The other thing I need to quickly talk about is just the thing about the shipwrecks. I said to you I moved down to Cornwall, I went down in 2001 I think it was, and I made the decision to move down to Cornwall because I was also running away. I guess I still hadn't found the right niche for me. I knew what I was doing wasn't the right thing. And I made the decision to move down to Cornwall. I was sitting on the beach, with my then-partner, at Trevaunce Cove, nr St Agnes, so that's north coast Cornwall and I just felt completely at home there by the sea and swore that I was going to move to Cornwall. And in fact, within a matter of months, we had actually moved to Cornwall. But that coastline of North Cornwall was an absolute magnet for shipwrecks. And there's this book here, I read in Cornwall; he was known as 'Hawker of Morwenstow'. And it just says that there were no fewer than 81 vessels cast ashore at or around Bude between 1824 and 1874. The westerly gales swept across the Atlantic with 'stupendous fury' in the winter. And I knew I was supposed to be in Cornwall, and I knew I needed to be by the sea and, at that time, Christian had started to think about going on this Africa trip. And, yeah, it all ties in somehow. 

The other thing I wanted to talk about was the meadow that Christian talked about. So, we don't have a grave for Chrisitan - we don't have his body. So it's a metaphorical grave the meadow that we have. Our father actually decided to keep some land and he named it 'Christian's Meadow' and is managing it as a wild-flower meadow. So it's lovely to know that Christian... I mean, I knew he knew about it, but it's lovely to hear that he's enjoying the space in his beautiful meadow. It's almost like now I can view him being in that meadow. The calling is for me to see him in that meadow, and to not have any thought of him, you know, in the water, in Africa surrounded by essentially people that, like the boy on the ship, people that he trusted, but was misplaced trust... something else is coming in... 
When I was moving Christian or bringing him back from Africa, he also had a soul part which was trapped within the body of the person, the ringleader, who'd been responsible for his death. And Christian and I actually had to go to Africa to retrieve - so a bit like what Urusla was doing - we had to retrieve Christian's missing pieces from this man. And actually, this man later appeared in our trance medium sessions, he'd actually passed over as well, by the time we did the sessions. And he was a stuck soul at that point, because he was responsible for a death, and he had not been able to move from the dark into the light. And actually, it was me that he was wanting to forgive him. So he had to explain his side of the story. He had to explain himself. And he then asked me for forgiveness. And at that point, I had to give him forgiveness, because it was the only thing at that point that was holding my grief to Africa. It was the only thing at that point, because I'd got Christian, I'd returned him home. He'd told me the full story, and the only thing that was holding me back was forgiveness for this man and his actions. I was able to forgive him, because I had to release ME. And Christian then reached down and actually took the man up into the light. So - what are you saying? - all sins can be forgiven. It's like, it holds you more not to forgive. 

Okay, so all around this episode is this cleansing and actually allowing everything to come out because once a wound is cleansed, then the light and the air can get in and actually heal it properly. There's definitely more on this and like truly seeing and truly trusting people and having that real purity and it's a ritual. This is a grief ritual that Christian and I have worked through. It's a grief release. And in talking about release, I'm also thinking that this session now will also release the rest of the episodes for the podcast as we go on. That was the last thing I needed - Margaret's gift of the purity of her heart. And I don't hold her anymore within me. So there's a purity within me now. So we'll see where this goes. 

But all I know is that it has to be playful and it has to flow. So these podcasts, they can't be serious and heavy. Grief as a subject is obviously serious, but it has the metaphor of the painting of grief. You know, I'm looking at the painting and seeing the good in grief and seeing what can be gained from grief. What is grief telling you and how can it be released? That's what I'm here for. I'm not here to carry the grief anymore. So we'll see where this goes. I really do feel that this podcast is now going to be released and fly free. So if anyone listening kind of feels they really would like to get in touch with me, please do come to finderoflostthingspodcast.com and leave a message, or have a chat. Yeah, I feel something big is being opened out now. So we'll see where it goes. So thank you so much, everybody for listening. I hope you enjoyed our story. And have a lovely week. Lots of love and I'll see you next week. Okay, bye bye.


Laura GardnerProfile Photo

Laura Gardner

Creator of ‘Great White Shark’ - our theme tune

Laura is a musician, poet and lightworker on a journey to live life by listening to the small voice within. Having been drawn to creative expression from her early years, Laura is now consciously embracing the intention of her soul to create. After more than a decade on a conventional career path, she has broken free from the corporate world and is opening to possibilities. Laura's intention is to share her gifts for words and music to bring love, light and peace to the hearts of others.